I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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