Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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