I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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