So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
