We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
