TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
