Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
