Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
