Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
