guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
