So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
