Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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