Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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