in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize