Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
