I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
