You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
