hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
they need to just BURY HIM!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize