my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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