Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
