the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
