Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
