how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize