i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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