keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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