it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
