i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Welp...herpes.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
