Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
