He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
