I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize