Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
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