Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it because I queefed?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
