he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
