why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
