i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
only you would photoshop your dick
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
