We won't sleep together?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
home. puking in laundry basket.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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