one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
operation harelip BJ is a go
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize