How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
