Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
