We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
