Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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