Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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