Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize