Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
