Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
