we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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