omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You left your phone here
Wait...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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