so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
