what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
