I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
