Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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