I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
