I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
