How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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