I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
