this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
