I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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