Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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