HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
